Stupidfreak PFS Log

stupidfreak

Well-Known Member
Jan 25, 2018
69
36
18
25
Czech
#41
This is the most personal post I have ever written, please take the time to read it carefully. And, even if just for a moment, be grateful for every gesture of support and encouragement you are getting from the forum.

As a female who has had a tough time accepting she is a female, I feel entitled to say that gender is too complex an issue to be decided upon solely on biological faults, especially if they are self-perceived. And believe me, I'm very feminine, curvy, soft, gentle, very prototypical. But having been told I had androgenetic alopecia at 16 did mess up my psique. Not only was the prescribed therapy damaging (Spironolactone made me menstruate every 15 days, the dermatologist never even warned me!) and expected to become a lifelong commitment, I grew up thinking something was very wrong, very mixed in me. Losing hair is in itself so catastrophic no one ever reflects upon the cruelty of the wording in this case. Looking back, I can see how I built a self-image that was totally stained by this diagnosis. I developed androgynous looks and behaviours because they seemed like a better match for what I perceived was my flawed hormonal cocktail. I never thought of transitioning, but at some point donating my breasts and eggs seemed like a good idea. I'm positive I alienated many people, as I consistently covered my body and unsexed myself. It has taken many years, many lovers and friends, a hair transplant and permanent self-kindness for me to feel ok in my femalehood and not like a second rate balding woman. And since I'm hardly cured, I'm also preparing myself for a headshave once I'm strong enough not to doubt my worth and place such a heavy load of social, professional and personal anxities on my scalp.

I am fully aware that my reproductive functions and organs were not affected and I can't pretend to know how disturbing that might be. Still, it's not because you feel like a flawed man that you should become a woman; the learning you need, albeit long and strenuous, has to do with a recovery of health alongside a mental makeover. The man you can still be exists way beyond your testicles.

Thats really sad to hear a good people like you suffer from some random and cruel,shit.All i can say.

But understand that my thoughts about my gender is final.I dont want to be male anymore.Im at a loss for words right now,i think i already said how i feel.Belive me,its either transition or suicide
 

Ivy

Member
Oct 5, 2017
42
20
8
#42
Thats really sad to hear a good people like you suffer from some random and cruel,****.All i can say.

But understand that my thoughts about my gender is final.I dont want to be male anymore.Im at a loss for words right now,i think i already said how i feel.Belive me,its either transition or suicide
Go to a hospital, sign yourself in, take shelter. I'm not going to argue with you.
 
Likes: MNK99
Oct 4, 2017
1,651
269
83
Europe
LOCATION
Europe
#44
And, even if just for a moment, be grateful for every gesture of support and encouragement you are getting from the forum.
But understand that my thoughts about my gender is final.I dont want to be male anymore.Im at a loss for words right now,i think i already said how i feel.Belive me,its either transition or suicide
Do you think we feel woman because with have no outer penis?
I think pfs is not about gender, and that you will still have the rest, and that is what you have to deal with now.
What you feel about is understandable, but the focus on sex is hiding the rest. The least you need now is anesthesia.
 

Niles

Well-Known Member
Jan 25, 2018
706
919
93
28
NYC
#47
A lot better.Baseline is pretty good now,if i can call it a baseline.Had 3 days of complete recovery.Still having ups and downs.
Damn dude, that's awesome! Are you following a protocol right now?
 
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IHateFin

Moderator
Oct 3, 2017
1,167
976
113
26
Arizona
#48
A lot better.Baseline is pretty good now,if i can call it a baseline.Had 3 days of complete recovery.Still having ups and downs.
your body recently crashed so you will be most likely to recover on your own right now. the longer you have pfs the harder it is to reverse.
 
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MNK99

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Nov 6, 2017
3,853
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International Waters - Whaling
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MNK99

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Nov 6, 2017
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International Waters - Whaling
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MNK99

Well-Known Member
Nov 6, 2017
3,853
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International Waters - Whaling
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God's Imagination./Limbo.
#53
if guys like slayo 6'6 nearly and 120lb (tho gained to 150lb) fasted and guys like stupid freak, 23-24 super skinny, can fast, and i can at 160 or 200lb, etc, etc. so can many.
i mean real str8 up water fasting. no crazy reishi mushroom nor marijuana nor enema fasting. also swim in the ocean. (no ocean here, minus 20 minus 40 at times so ya).

that kid was like 5'8 or 5'10 120lb
he fasted
after i told him to 300x
it helped him.
similar but different dx as me (far before fin and for good reasons. kid has seen A LOT of stress/trauma in life). just updating because,
A. he got much better and B. never thought he could.
He didn't want to deal with ppl here and had to focus on school/work and posted and left, but told me weeks later. happy for him. good kid.
 
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MNK99

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Nov 6, 2017
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International Waters - Whaling
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MNK99

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Nov 6, 2017
3,853
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International Waters - Whaling
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LOCATION
God's Imagination./Limbo.
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