Bruschi's Reasoning and Ramblings in Fighting CFS, Lyme, and Post Drug Disorders

[bruschi11]

Hello Everyone,

Most of you regulars on this site may know me by now, but I'd like to introduce myself to the rest of you all just joining this site and welcome you. You found the right place whoever you are and I'm telling you right now- I'm 99.9999% sure you can get better from what you are experiencing whether its going to be easy for you or not.

I could tell you my story, but its a long one. I get a lot of questions via PM and love helping people I must admit. But its getting a bit much and I think my explanations can be all made right here in one place. I'd like to simplify things for people in this thread here based on my thoughts, experiences, what I've learned from others (especially our leader here on this site @gbolduev ), and overall just a self-education of the problems we've been presented with our health issues.

Quite briefly about me- I got hit with PFS in mid-December 2016 3 months after turning 28 years old and 20 days or so after a brief 14 day Finasteride trial. This was after a 5 or so year journey dealing with chronic fatigue issues that I thought I had fixed with Hormone Replacement Therapy. I then spent 7 months horribly ill living at my parents house without the ability to live much of a life at all. The severity of my neurological issues during that time period cannot truly be described along with the complete impotence I experienced. If you want to learn more about my story until this past October 2017- you can read the beginning of my log linked below right here . Hacking PFS & CFS: Bruschi's Log

I essentially can say I've been through the bulk of what we do on this site- the treatments we've been presented I've worked with the majority of these on myself beginning even before this site existed. It's actually a pretty cool story how I got here- after a diagnosis last June of a severe mycoplasma infection (Lyme-type pathogen based infection) I began a natural health healing regime in August. I did some heavy reading around the internet for months on end prior to this during the peak of my illness and continued to do so.

With my plan, I really put the severe neuro issues away in about 6 weeks. I still had major issues, but I was able to stop the antidepressant mirtazapine (my brain literally required this before or I could not stay alive- it was that bad) I was using at the time and start going at this naturally. Then I notice @gbolduev preaching to guys like @TubZy and @freeflow over on the Ray Peat forum about how he could heal people from PFS. I thought this was lunacy, but after a couple weeks I finally reached out to freeflow and did some "gbolduev googling" reading all of his posts on other forums in years past.

Well- the dude used a lot of what I had followed to help me get to the point I was at. I finally started to understand his reasoning a bit the further I learned about his PFS theories. And man- I was eating plant based at the time, I was very glad that he wanted us to include a lot of seafood in our diets. That may have been the final straw that made me go all in on his stuff. I love seafood!

I noticed that he liked probiotic enemas with my research. So on that night- my 29th birthday Sept 26th, 2017 I swallowed some probiotics anally for the very first time and then would begin my hackstasis trek.

7 months later- here I am living a pretty damn good life. Now well functional sexually I can say- while not recovered in that aspect, the ability to have intercourse and have pleasure doing so is not a problem at. My dick was pretty much rubber before this. Women excite me again very much- its funny they actually look different to me now in such a good way. My fatigue is MAJORLY improved unless a substance is put in play that can disrupt it, my digestion has been doing great since, and so on.

The progress I've made overall has been substantial, but what I've learned about myself and healing techniques in this time period has gone even further. What I've learned along with what I've experienced has given me the confidence to say "I am definitely going to heal fully from this."

Most importantly, while I am not content, I am happy. I woke up one morning say 2 weeks after my beloved New England Patriots lost in the Super Bowl in February and just freaked out waking up all my roommates that morning annoying the heck out of them "I'm GAYYYYYYYY" I screamed from the top of my lungs. I said this not because I'm a homosexual, I said it because I just wanted to find a way to show everyone I was happy which "Gay" does indeed mean according to the English dictionary.

Being so depressed and down for so long there and finally acknowledging the fact that I am a happy human being- I had to express it in a different way I guess. My roommates girlfriend, "He's sleeping, what are you doing, shut up!" She just didn't get how much I had to be happy about.

A week or so later feeling on top of the world skiing where my legs hadn't felt this strong for over a decade, I fell and got my testicles tangled. A "testicular torsion" requiring emergency surgery that night. Its taken all 8 weeks to mend these completely, but finally I went for my first run yesterday and am back on track with recovery life. I did some experimenting and stayed relatively healthy during these 8 weeks, but they were definitely a set back for me including 12 lbs gained to my 5'8 now 182 lb frame. For me its time to build from where I left off from.

Now I'm sure that I'll probably get called out at some point for being sexist with what I write above, but I'm not at all in the slightest bit. I'm happy, I love life- man wow what life feels like when I get the flashes of normalcy, when I get the experiences that I lacked for so long. I love all races, kinds, I love being here around all human beings- a species I was legitimately scared to spend time around when I was at my worst for those 7 months. I was so anxious I couldn't look a human in the eye.

Admittedly, life can still be tough at times with symptoms that show while experimenting but they are nowhere near the same galaxy of what I went through last year. During the hard, all I have to do is take a deep breath and think about where I once was and where I am now. It's so damn cool.

I just wrote a bit more above than I would've liked to about myself. I don't want this thread to be about me- I want this thread to be about this website, what we are trying to do here, what happened to us, how you can get better, why you can get better, and above all things just give you all a peace of mind that you CAN get better. I want to do this in layman terms so you can understand this. It can get confusing on this site undoubtedly and that's the case with any type of health website.

It can be hard finding the right plan for you. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. That is the largest lesson you may learn on this site. Some things will work for some people, others will work for others. It all depends on your symptoms, oxidation type, mineral content, drug that caused your illness, toxicities, pathogens, and so on. And its not going to be one thing that cures you- it's going to be a collection over TIME that must be strategically used to your advantage. I hope that I can help people get a better understanding of what the best routes to take are for their given situation.

For instance, when I started my holistic healing in August I was able to Skype with a PFS recovery story from Propeciahelp by the name "Braziliandude." I kept asking about individual things he tried over his 4-5 years of PFS recovery and said to me "Its not going to be one thing. Its going to be a collection of things that you really have to figure out." I wanted him to be wrong. I didn't want there to be any pressure on me to make the right decisions. I already had made a horrible one by taking finasteride and now my own decisions are going to reflect whether or not I can get my life back?

Well, the decisions started getting easier for me once this forum came into fruition. And I hope that I can help you make the correct decisions with my work here like I have over these last 7 months (barring that ski jump I attempted LOL.) Admittedly, I have made some other wrong decisions that I would take back if I could but I can't. I do not dwell on these decisions. I do not look back. NEVER LOOK BACK. But I have learned from them.

From here, I'll be following up with some posts I already have in mind such as "My influences on the web/recovery stories to read", "What happened to us? In layman's terms", "My RIFE machine journey", "Manual Pathogen Attacks", and several more ideas. If you have an idea that you'd like to see me tackle to the best of my ability- feel free to shoot me a PM or comment here.

To conclude this- I know many of you are at wits end with your problems and some have been sick for close to a decade or even longer. Just believe- just get up and start doing, start believing. Look at @Admiral - the dude has had PFS for over a decade and just fasted for 21 days. Find something deep inside of you to make this your journey in getting your life back. Find that motivation and just do it.

I'd say I'm only 60% there and man its worth. Sooo worth it. After a 7 year health journey on my own, I can only imagine what 100% feels like and how good that day will be. At 60%, my life is good, but I want it all. I can't wait to get there and you should feel the same exact way. Let's keep on going!

 

[bruschi11]

What Happened to Us?

This is going to be pretty basic and simple. As layman term as possible I guess you can say. I want this to make sense for you, your family, for anyone you want to show this too. Lets begin.

There are pathways in the body that influence how we work. We are a system containing minerals, amino acids, vitamins that work with each other to make our systems run. These systems need to be in balance to a degree for us to work correctly. Sure our bodies work, we survive, function, and move when our systems are out of check. But realistically, when the system is in check and there is balance- our bodies function ultimately in a much stronger manner.

The balance I speak of above also has major effects on the way our organs run. The better our organs run, the better we function as humans. The ratios of these minerals have major effects on how our organs function along with amino and vitamin amounts, balance within our system. I'm sure a lot of you have been told you have "adrenal fatigue." Sure the adrenals aren't working properly- but that is just an effect of an imbalance within the system allowing the adrenals to run- not an actual bad adrenal gland.

Finasteride, accutane, antidepressants, saw palmetto- just prescription drugs as a whole that caused these horrible reactions we've had even including antibiotics. These very strong DRUGS all caused a specific imbalance within the system respective to the drug that was taken by the organism. We're organisms guys- just as we are human beings, but organisms at the core. We all got "imbalanced" in a way that causes some major, horrible side effects. But why do some of us have some issues, some of us have others?

Thing is- we are self regulating systems. The body should have the ability to get itself back into balance if everything is in good place in the body. That is how the body works- it is able to take care of itself and put itself back to where it should be. Not all systems are self regulating, but luckily we are. So for the 95% or so of people who use these drugs and are fine afterward- well their self regulating systems were in check. The 5% (or so) of us that got hit by these horrible symptoms afterward- well our systems weren't in the right spot as it was for it to self regulate itself back to normality.

There are other factors at play keeping the body from self regulating itself. We are complex and it just isn't that easy.

We need to realize that although we have minerals, vitamins, aminos all making us go- we also have bacteria in our body (good and bad where the bad can be called pathogens), we have environmental toxins like mold, mercury, ammonia, we have heavy metals like copper/zinc out of balance. We all have things in our systems that can slow us down and hurt us.

Pathogens will eat at minerals, vitamins, aminos and can cause major imbalances themselves. They are just like the Europeans setting in the American Colonies. They colonize in us and find places in our body where they can live and feast upon. They can grow into a community wayyyy too large for your body to support. For me, mycoplasma (the potent pathogen that tore me apart) legitimately became a civilization in my body. The PFS just allowed this stuff to dominate when this horrible imbalance came about.

A difficult thing regarding some pathogens such as mycoplasma, when they die they will be producing toxins such as ammonia. Their wasted bodies are now in your system essentially poisoning you. You need your system to be up to par in terms of detoxification in order to remove these both effectively and efficiently while keeping "healing reaction" AKA "herxheimer reaction" symptoms low. At times during this trek back to health, I"ve experienced full day's worth of "herxheimer reactions." While I'm glad on these days I'm killing pathogens, I also understand that I have an issue here as I need to get my system in better balance in order to handle the deaths and detox itself better.

Side Note: Antibiotics do a great job with pathogens, but they also kill our good bacteria which we need. So this is a major reason myself and @gbolduev will tell you to stay away. They can also create other imbalances. But if you have been sick for awhile and its looking like the pathogen could be at the root, it may be smart to start with an antibiotic just for a couple weeks to begin things. No longer than that and I'd give colloidal silver or MMS a shot before that antibiotic to get you going.

Before the pharmaceutical reaction- the majority of us likely had these negative issues I mention above, but not to a major noticeable degree that would effect us mentally or physically. There were things off, but we were functioning fine. And most of us probably would have lived pretty well either way with this stuff there or not. Well the drugs went in our system and they are pretty fucking strong. They caused some major imbalances within our system and that's when all hell broke loose.

Our systems now aren't working correctly. This respective PFS, PAS, PSSD imbalance has made a major change in how your body works. The organs, the brain, they aren't working as well now. The toxins, heavy metals- the body is now at a major disadvantage where it cannot clean itself of these things. The immune system is dis-regulated and having a very hard time dealing with pathogens and bad bacteria. The body, with these imbalances, is now just at major risk.

The body can't use or produce its major antioxidant, glutathione efficiently enough in the majority of our cases. Things are clogging up inside of you. Think of that brain fog you get there. Its not from something actually being wrong with your brain- its something in your body causing the flare up going on up there. For instance, I know that ammonia (a toxin I have an issue with) is extremely stressful for our tissues and it stresses the NDMA receptor in the brain. This can lead to brain fog. I know that many other toxins can have similar effects.

While what I write above might seem complex, its honestly very simple. When you start getting an understanding of how you are healing yourself, it all becomes simple mathematics like addition and subtraction. You'll understand it as you get going. Some people may need some division, multiplication and heck those in the worst of places may have to do a little algebra (like myself- I got hit HARD), but eventually you just have to do the work and it becomes very easy.

I think the most important part for me in helping myself heal from these issues was when i got this understanding of what is wrong with me and why. When I started doing the math it just ends up making sense. If you just take a bunch of supplements someone tells you to take and just try to live your life, it won't be easy. You're not going to understand possible issues that are going to arise. You need to educate yourself when you are healing from disease and I advise all of you to start making this a priority.

To conclude this, simple mathematics ---> we all took a potent medication that caused an imbalance which caused all sorts of things in the system to go haywire. Pathogens thrive, toxins arise, minerals/vitamins/aminos become imbalanced and depleted.

We've seen hundreds of people beat this kind of stuff, but so many of us are stuck. With what myself and many have learned here on this website, it really isn't that hard to get better from these injuries we have been presented with.

Keep your head up- you got hit by a pharmaceutical. You very, very, very likely do not have any type of life long disease, this is not epigenetic, this is not going to ruin your life. But it could if you do not take the correct actions in healing yourself. You could age very quickly with a subpar life and die very slowly. Or you could fight and beat this thing quite quickly and enjoy yourself while doing so.

I've chosen the latter and I'm enjoying the ride back to health oh so much. I hope more and more jump on and start following what we started here at Hackstasis.

 

[Kamil]

Great respect for you. As you know, I also have mycoplasme. I am currently on antibiotics. They help. I have no fear. The worst thing is that one day I'm strong, the second day I'm dying 'herx'. I appreciate that we support, it's beautiful.

 

[Concerned]

Good post Bruschii, it's useful to have it in accessible terms.

 

[bruschi11]

The Power of the Endocrine System

(This Story is from PRE- PFS!!!!)

I stopped writing here the last couple weeks. Had to get through the "herxheimer" and healing reactions from ARL balancing. It beat me up there for a bit. Time to get back to it.

I'm writing this blog because two years ago to this week I went through a pretty interesting experience. 2 years ago- wow legitimately feels like 5 years ago looking back now. The last two years for me have been extremely hectic- some really dark times, but now recently some great times and early on I was doing alright. But this beginning to that 2 year craziness gave me an education through experience. Let me proceed.

It's May 2016 and I am about to go to one of my best friend's bachelor party in Las Vegas for 4 days/3 nights. I had been going through a couple difficult years at the time with my health, but it seemed like I finally figured out to a degree what could help me get my life back to normal. This was before PFS- 6 months or so before finasteride was swallowed by a person searching for happiness, but just couldn't grasp it due to internal factors.

I had been experimenting with pregnenolone, testosterone therapy, clomid- and had recently gotten touch with a guy by the username of "Chilln" on the Allthingsmale forum. I had been told the past 2+ years by doctors that I had "adrenal fatigue" shown by low saliva cortisol results. A run with hydrocortisone in late 2014 helped immensely, but I slowly slipped back into "adrenal issues Anthony" in 2015. 2015 I realized clomid, D- asparatic acid and overall testosterone boosting helped so much. 2016 was the year where I'd finally "fix my hormones."

Looking at that paragraph above knowing I somehow took finasteride 6 months later makes me cringe quite a bit. (Biting my lip, sipping water). Yea I took it after that- I still can't believe it.

Anyways, I used pregnenolone that first week while using clomid as my testosterone booster. Normally clomid gave me a good 6-8 week high where I felt good enough to live a decent life. Athletically I felt stronger, could handle more stress working out and going out, and sex drive was very high. I had bloodwork in years past showing Testosterone in the 1200 range on clomid. That said, I wasn't great on it, I had some major issues. I couldn't handle alcohol- 2 days after drinking heavily I would experience a major crash. I was fatigued a lot. I was anxious- man I wasn't right with people or socially looking back. Socially a shell of myself overall- clomid or not. I wasn't well overall, but I was getting by in life.

The pregnenolone added to clomid gave me an immediate sense of well being. I remember being in office and that feeling was very relaxing the first time I swallowed a big dose of MLM pregnenolone- I think I was using about 250mg quite a bit of the stuff. That first week on it (before going to Las Vegas) I had golfed and had a bit less fatigue than before. I still had fatigue, I wasn't great, but I thought to myself maybe I'm onto something with this stuff combined with clomid. "Chilln'" liked testosterone boosting combined with "boosting metabolic rate" with combinations of pregnenolone, progesterone, licorice root, and he said t3 would be required for this combined with one of those 3 listed before.

I didn't know t3 was required, but I sent "Chilln" a private message on that website allthingsmale. I was in Vegas at the time he responded to me and I had been supplementing pregnenolone aplenty that prior week. I had a pill holder on my keys with preg caps in it. I went out that first night in Vegas just taking preg and guess what happens when you go to Vegas? I got absolutely shit faced and was out till 4-5am. I woke up feeling like I got ran over by a train that morning- like knocked out silly hung over.

I was bummed at this point- I knew based on the prior couple of years or so that I wouldn't be able to handle much more alcohol this trip and would likely be dealing with some pretty bad fatigue and anxiety symptoms. I would have to take it easy and chill- heck I didn't want to leave the hotel room. My friends were pretty upset with me because I resorted to stay in the hotel that morning and early afternoon. But I had gotten on my laptop and a message I had been awaiting from that "Chilln" dude appeared and to paraphrase him- "I advise that you beging taking 5mg of t3 with your preg. Start slow maybe increase to 2 or 3 doses daily. Talk to your doctor and say you have cold hands and feet, start slow."

At this point, I'm in a hotel room in Vegas in need of feeling better more than anything. I was prescribed t3 that prior year at times and had used it for times at length and never felt much from it to be honest except for faster metabolism when beginning it. If I remembered correctly I had it on automatic refill at CVS. So I called CVS and had them transfer the prescription to a Las Vegas CVS. I hopped in a cab and got the script immediately swallowing 5mg of t3.

The next couple hours I knew I felt something- we are talking 3-4pm in the afternoon now. I'm feeling functional- fatigue and the hangover is going away a bit. I thought I was just getting lucky maybe- because normally when I got this drunk I'd be in bed the whole day. I didn't realize the t3/preg were at work already.

So I'm feeling better, my friends are back and I'm like "guys screw it I'm betting on some games at the sportsbook and I'm starting drinking." We had plans that night to go to a club in a Limo or something and I was thinking 'hell this is my first time in Vegas, hopefully I can get myself through this weekend having fun. Sure I'll pay for it after, but hopefully the alcohol and pregnenolone/t3 can pull me through it." The cool thing is- I never had to pay for it later...

That Friday night, I went out in Vegas, felt great and had an absolute blast. Met a cute girl from Seattle probably 20 mins into the night. Spent awhile with her. Dancing at this rooftop club man it was a fun time. That night stayed up to say 4am where my friend (FAT BILL RIP kid lost 40 lbs since) and I got into a pretty dangerous wrestling match caught on film. He beat me the lil bastard I admit it.

Woke up that next morning with a hangover, but I just felt different. I felt ok, I got up and started doing things. My friend and I immediately got coffees and searching for some weed to smoke that day at the pool party. He's my roommate now, but I told him "Dude somethings going on with me and those supplements I started taking. I feel great after drinking. I'm like fine and ready to party some more today!" He clearly thought I was a little insane at the time, but little did he know.

Went to the pool party a little hesitant to start drinking because we are on day 3 now. I normally can't handle 1 night of drinking- this will be my third. Lets just say I had a hell of a day at that pool party, drank and gambled that whole night and did some mischievous things in that city staying up until 6am. Then woke up at 10am the next day where we'd go to the Hoover Dam where we'd find a small bar and I drank some more feeling fine. I was so excited and happy. I couldn't believe how well my body was handling stress (alcohol)- it was a dream come true.

I would then drink some more on the red eye flight coming home where I'd drunkenly annoy that absolute shit out of all of my friends and the flight attendants. Let me tell you- one of my friends and two flight attendants wanted to kill me. I didn't care- I felt great!! Got home from the airport and slept a few hours- then woke up and played 2 or so hours of basketball with friends that day back home. I felt like I could fly.

During that time, I was just using low dose clomid EOD and 3 doses of pregnenolone say 150mg/t3 5mg per day.

The above goes to show you how much the Endocrine system can affect your abilities to function as a human being. I clearly had the mycoplasma issue, toxicity issues all along. The endocrine system strengthening to that degree carried me that weekend. Carried me and then some haha I felt like superman to be honest.

From that point on, that "high" I got dropped quite a bit the next 6 weeks. I moved to TRT with testosterone cream eventually, HCG low dose along with the pregnenolone and t3. While I had a decent summer in 2016, I still had health issues. I didn't realize it at the time because I was so happy with the results, but digestion, anxiety, fatigue (to a lesser degree), and now major hair loss from the TRT were ailing me through that summer.

That October I made the decision to take finasteride and the rest is history. But I learned one major thing through that health crisis- our endocrine systems can make a HUGE difference in how our bodies' deal with disease and toxicities.

Having that experience in the back of my mind this whole trek has kept me a bit optimistic realizing that something amazing can happen as I notate in my sig below. One adjustment can make the biggest of differences in this journey back to health.

 

[joekool]

that rooftop club was Omnia

or the one at the Palms?

Yea.. Vegas rox

Thank you for sharing all this man

 

[Canari]

We all got "imbalanced" in a way that causes some major, horrible side effects. But why do some of us have some issues, some of us have others?

Thing is- we are self regulating systems. The body should have the ability to get itself back into balance if everything is in good place in the body. That is how the body works- it is able to take care of itself and put itself back to where it should be. Not all systems are self regulating, but luckily we are. So for the 95% or so of people who use these drugs and are fine afterward- well their self regulating systems were in check. The 5% (or so) of us that got hit by these horrible symptoms afterward- well our systems weren't in the right spot as it was for it to self regulate itself back to normality.

YES MAN!

And what you call self-regulating system, a very good word that speaks much more to our self-regulating system lol, is the only system of the body that people do not want to call by its name, because it is the part of the nervous system that is not touched by words...

And the support in the group is what all birds like my avatar know how to do: they sing on their own and it is still in harmony with other singers, and they also know what they can eat, like this in the pic I took when he was delighted that I am growing persimmons for him! Or her...

This is part of the self-regulating system, because it is also a co-regulating system!

This is why this system is 100% nature and 100% nurture too. Talks about one versus the other are pointless, it is just beyond mathematics as we know them! We are self-regulated as much as the system was formed in our body, and same as any exercising, you need enough challenge but not too much, so that it builds, and it needs to be in tune with your age and possibilities, according to what has affected you since, not your birth, but your conception. I was affected by chemicals before birth, and no doctor ever told me that my self-regulating system was not on check! This made me sensitive to suffer from bully and also prone to accidents etc. According to the support we get, those life accidents, including post drug disorders, either make us stronger, or weaken us. Support is both from fellow humans and from the many techniques discussed here. If you get support from colloidal silver, mineral balancing, rife machine and learn to self-regulate and become again sensitive to humans like this:

I love being here around all human beings- a species I was legitimately scared to spend time around when I was at my worst for those 7 months. I was so anxious I couldn't look a human in the eye.

Our self-regulation was brought to us by adults when we were a fetus, a baby, a child. We have to take this into account for personalising our journey, because some of us have had a better start in life than others. The good news are that the worse we manage to beat and recover from, the stronger we are gonna be! This is a life-long journey to get better, and it needs be done from the deepest parts of our hearts!

 

[Canari]

Being so depressed and down for so long there and finally acknowledging the fact that I am a happy human being- I had to express it in a different way I guess. My roommates girlfriend, "He's sleeping, what are you doing, shut up!" She just didn't get how much I had to be happy about.

A week or so later feeling on top of the world skiing where my legs hadn't felt this strong for over a decade, I fell and got my testicles tangled. A "testicular torsion" requiring emergency surgery that night. Its taken all 8 weeks to mend these completely, but finally I went for my first run yesterday and am back on track with recovery life.

This what happened to you is known as "pendulation".

First, I was so happy from your use of humor by saying "I am gay!"! because it is a pity we cannot express the true meaning of the word anymore! I use this a lot, to gain more co-regulation with others! I use it with my self and alone too... It is veeeery potent and recommend it to all! This increases self-regulation.

What might have happened is that your "gayty" was not shared enough by roommates. We have to shine light, but not shine our heat! You see what I mean? I have been too gay and without a form of regulation of it, it can addly become excessive and a loss of energy. When the pendulum of self-regulation has been stuck for long on one side, if it goes very quick on the other side, well an extreme joy is not easy to feel inside without feeling overwhelmed and need to share! If not true, then put all people who jump on each other after a goal in a lunatic house!!!

So, I would think about adding some pondering on joy, not to lower it, but to sustain it better. Building a bigger container for it does not happen overnight either, however stange it can feel. That is why my best image to use as self-support is to see it as energy, and do the inner exercise to visualize it as light shining around you, and think about containing the heat inside you. This will create a balance.

Or else, then happen what I also had, and I remember nearly going to jump from a cliff from lack of attention, as I was a real ball of powerful joy energy.... what happen is that you feel on top of the world, you feel so strong, and something happen to remind you that you are still an organism living in the law of gravity and more laws, something happen that would not have happened by just may be having had a strongest moment with friends. Apart from sport supporters, have we learned to behave like this in our culture? No. And you see this word about sport... supporters... We need support, we need mammal connexion, thus people fond of pets, we need to learn how to contain our energy in our energetic field, and keep this energy, while sharing our light!

When we are told we are on a path, we have not been told that it is not in the form of a journey like when we walk, but it is a pendulation, and in a fractal form, because there are many pendulations crossing each other, from the one of our heart beats to the expansion and contraction of the universe.

When you cycle plants, food and fast, night and day, blue and red light, you are inside the laws of pendulation. Your mood will be a sign of this going on at more physiologic level too. Take care of it at all levels! One day strong, one day herx, one day too strong one day too herxy! By knowing and feeling inside that next day you will be strong, this helps to sustain the pendulation.

One more tip: nurture and feel the strength and the power inside you, feel how it feels at body/organic/physiological level. Feel what feels new and get used to it. It is no joke, it is needed and it is important, and we overlook this. It is building strength for the next pendulation. I have written a post about celebrating victory. We need this, and without waiting the 100% recovery. We really can celebrate little things and nurture them as the little flame when we light a fire.

Just have a look at my signature, it tells about pendulation!

 

[Canari]

Testimony from a Lyme sufferer authorised me to use:
"I've had Lyme & several co-infections for likely over 30 years but was not diagnosed until 2015. I started Irene's 12 week program in fall of 2016. I have found it to be a really important part of my healing process. One of the biggest things I notice day to day as a result of this program is that I can't over-ride my body with my mind anymore--my body awareness and my tuning in to my nervous system state is pretty constant now, vs. a lifetime of living in my head only and over-riding my body's needs. This way of being (based in 'automatic' coping strategies and survival physiology from early trauma) has wreaked havoc on my adrenals and immune system, which is a big factor in the whole Lyme picture. My recovery and my nervous system healing/remodeling is still very much a work in progress! All this takes time and all of us wish there was a quick, magic cure (which I don't believe there is)."