Barbaar, PSSD log

Nina

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Oct 10, 2017
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Hydrogen update:

- Shocks are gone for the most part. Just one or two in the last few days.
- Insomnia is still pretty bad, getting like ~6 hours of sleep a night. I need more.
- Still tired, but in a different way. Instead of complete, all-encompassing fatigue its more like 'yeah I need more sleep probably'
- Brain fog significantly improved. I speak a lot of English at uni (lots of international students) and I feel more fluent somehow. Not sure if it's actually the case, but talking is easier and I have less trouble finding words. Also when speaking dutch, people actually told me they noticed I talk more than usual and seem sharper.
- Anhedonia unchanged
- Emotional numbing unchanged
- Slight but noticable libido boost sometimes. Not better than a normal upswing, but better than before hydrogen for sure.
- The energy boost I got at the start is way less noticeable now, but still there (I think)

I feel more productive and can focus on uni assignments and stuff for longer than usual, which is nice with exams coming up. I'll definitely keep drinking hydrogen water.
Barbaar, im wondering if you still feel the same way about hydrogen water?
 

barbaar

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Oct 16, 2017
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Just need to vent a little bit since I can't talk to anyone about this. In a bad place rn mentally so ignore this dumb rant

Feeling super fucked today, extreme shrinkage, curve is getting worse and getting stabbing pains in my dick. It's like there are invisible rubber bands wrapped all around it and ED is still the worst it has ever been. Feeling hard lumps (fibrosis?) In a lot of places too.

I stupidly took some ashwagandha over the weekend, stupid because I was staying "clean" to prepare for TEI, not because ashwagandha did something bad. I don't think it did anything at all tbh. I'm my own worst fucking enemy ugh. Everything I try either does nothing or makes me worse. Now I need to wait even longer before being able to go on TEI. And even then TEI might take years or not help at all.

Tired of being an asexual zombie, the one good day I had two weeks ago made me realize how bad I still am. I had just largely gotten used to it

Anyways I'll probably feel dumb for writing this when I'm feeling a little better again, please ignore.
 

Nina

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Oct 10, 2017
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@barbaar have you tried to take baking soda? It decreases acidity and adrenaline levels in the body. Maybe it helps your body calm down a bit. I think helen recommended this too for high adrenaline state to patch it
 

barbaar

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Oct 16, 2017
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@barbaar have you tried to take baking soda? It decreases acidity and adrenaline levels in the body. Maybe it helps your body calm down a bit. I think helen recommended this too for high adrenaline state to patch it
I haven't tried that.

I think uni stress and lack of sleep is just getting to me atm. I also stopped going to the gym because I just don't have time for it. Can't wait for summer break so I can pick things back up again.
 
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RebelWithACause

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Jan 20, 2018
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I think TEI or ARL is your best bet. Might take a while. But once you are on the program you have something to focus on which helps a lot with the mental sides. It gives you a goal and purpose.

I have seen good improvements in 6 months where I am much more stable and functional and I was really bad as well. Mood up and down all the time. No libido. High anxiety. Etcetera. Some days you are just going to break down a bit, just accept it and then next day you go forward again.
 

barbaar

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Oct 16, 2017
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I think TEI or ARL is your best bet. Might take a while. But once you are on the program you have something to focus on which helps a lot with the mental sides. It gives you a goal and purpose.

I have seen good improvements in 6 months where I am much more stable and functional and I was really bad as well. Mood up and down all the time. No libido. High anxiety. Etcetera. Some days you are just going to break down a bit, just accept it and then next day you go forward again.
I think you're right man. Having something to focus on just by itself chills me out mentally.

"Some days you are just going to break down a bit, just accept it and then next day you go forward again."

Haha yeah that was me yesterday. Still feel like shit now but I let the hopelessness get to me for a bit there. Just gotta get back on the horse again.
 

MNK99

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Nov 6, 2017
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International Waters - Whaling
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vapings good but i did it to not smoke, now all these faggy hipsters all over the place, vaping their juicy starburst shyt. i vape black heroin tar flavor and cameles and newports and menthols. purist. i like how all these crybabies dodge and walk away and like im smoking crack or something, tho im forced to breathe in their disgusting nasty air, that they exhale. i keep my distance 150-300m from ppl at all times. meanwhile 90% of people have their masks on because they're transmitting avian asian bird flu all over the place. i actually have asthma so not sure why they're all crying. sorry i dont have AIDS and I am not a fat bitch. I'm SO SORRY. I'M SORRY EVERYONE.
Can't beat kids, can't smoke in public parks, can't drink outside. Can't drive on the sidewalk, can't get an empty row and isle and airplane no more. Can't do anything no more.
 
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barbaar

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Oct 16, 2017
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vapings good but i did it to not smoke, now all these faggy hipsters all over the place, vaping their juicy starburst shyt. i vape black heroin tar flavor and cameles and newports and menthols. purist. i like how all these crybabies dodge and walk away and like im smoking crack or something, tho im forced to breathe in their disgusting nasty air, that they exhale. i keep my distance 150-300m from ppl at all times. meanwhile 90% of people have their masks on because they're transmitting avian asian bird flu all over the place. i actually have asthma so not sure why they're all crying. sorry i dont have AIDS and am not a fat bitch. I'm SO SORRY. I'M SORRY EVERYONE.
Can't beat kids, can't smoke in public parks, can't drink outside. Can't drive on the sidewalk, can't get an empty row and isle and airplane no more. Can't do anything no more.
But can you vape sardines?? (important, asking for a friend)