Bankai's log, advice appreciated!

Bankai900

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May 27, 2019
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#1
Hello all on hackstasis! What a great place with tons of valuable information!
I'm trying to read as much as I can daily, but lately I noticed it is just stressing my brain way soo much reading for 3h a day trying to find the "magic cure" or "perfect way" and I guess stress isn't helping with all of this at the moment. So I'd be extremely grateful for any help!

I've put a bunch of information about myself into here, but it's probably not really important.
I highly appreciate any help so please skip to the bottom side "Sides and how to fix".

Background:
I'm a 29 year old boy, very fit body but also prob a guy who didn't give his body the proper rest (cuz hey we're undestroyable right). Drinking, working, overstimulating and never having a proper sleeproutine. Yet body always in topshape due to gym and partly awful but still nutritious diet.
Started taking really care of myself 6months prior taking the findose, but was still a chronic overmasturbator I'd say (just saying cuz there seems to be some correlation between sexual exhaustion and pfs).

Dht-blocking History:
Nizoral 2x a week for 8 years.
Anti dht shampoo for 1 year 4-5x a week.
Anti dht serum 1x a day for 3-4months.
ONE DOSE OF 0,25MG finasteride and my body exploded.

I noticed already some PFS symptoms like a week before the crash, but overall my hair was getting better and I thought I've won the fight if I keep living healthy and add a small dose of fin daily as support into the mix. I noticed mostly that I wasn't really having libido (but still fapping for the joy of it) and I noticed my face started to get worse (bad wrinkles under my eyes which weren't there 6 months prior, I know cuz I did a lot of selfies xd)

So symptoms after crash and the improvement/decline: Crashdate 23 Mai evening.
recap
1st day:
Took a pill at 13:00, felt incredibly wired and interested and social during the time with WAY too much energy. At 18 I got an errection and noticed it's not getting back into flaccid state for minutes.
Masturbated at 19 o clock and felt it was very hard to ejaculate and weaker errection, again same thing penis stays in hard flaccid for way too long. At 22 I couldn't get it up AT ALL anymore. Then the shitstorm started. So here are the symptoms the following days.

- extreme HEARTRACE for like 6 hours
- sweats through the whole night
- stopped sweating from activities/heat after
- superintense headache
- complete impotence, 0 sensation 0 libido, rubberdick way smaller than usual
- complete skinanhedonia on the whole body
- urination literally every 20minutes for the whole night
- insomnia couldnt sleep for more than 30min first night
- head felt like burning 24/7
- crazy breast tenderness
- hearing impaired and disorientation
- complete apathy to literally everything, aswell as my own reflection or even looking at my hands felt weird, the incredible out of your body feeling (prob the scariest of all)
- head felt like hit by a brick in the back for days
- couldnt get any soreness after training, heavy squatting and next day felt like I haven't done anything

So where I am now: Advice appreciated, because I don't know what course of action to do.
I found the TMO-side and SwSo and it literally saved my life in the beginning to stay positive.

- most mental sides were gone after 1-2weeks, muscle soreness came back at 14 days after a gymsession. I kept a very healthy diet with fruits, good proteins and fats and daily green veggies. Ignoring all stressors and trying to sleep as much as possible every night.

Sides and how to fix?
- I have a 24/7 wired feeling, never sleepy and at night my heartrace is crazystrong. Slower then in the beginning but still so strong to keep me up. It's good because I can function during the day, but on the same time sleeping seems like a waste of time. ( I still try to be in bed for at least 10h since crash, to force a circadian rythm and get some rest I know I need. But it feels like I lay and get up instantly after a night. And am waking up up to like 5-8x during the night. This was better after crash and now it's getting worse. During the day my heartrace is calm no matter what..
- my heartrace doesn't correspond to my mental state, when I lay in bed chill it's extremely strong. During the day even if I "get stressed", it doesn't speed up.
- I don't feel ANY difference between sleeping 1h or 10h, instantly way too awake (never was like this precrash)
- my libido is kinda there, I had like 30% brain-dick connection but it got worse the last days.. now I feel I'm at like 0-5%. Still can get somewhat errect with stimulation
- bent and twisted on axis penis
- testicles very warm now, they looked better after 2 weeks getting cold (which I think they was before)
- I had crazy morning errections after crash, for almost 2 weeks, but now they are GONE completely. I don't have genital anhedonia tho, or not fullblown at least.
- my hair did shed extremely after 2 weeks which seems to have stopped now
- the worst side for me now, besides ED and the sleep is my skin. It looks as if my body is eating my own collagen, my face looks hydrated and not "tired", is a BIT dry, but all my pores opened wide up and my lines started going from my eyes over my cheecks to my mouth... I can see it on my hands aswell, just awful. As if I aged almost 15 years in 2weeks. I noticed these fine lines some days before the crash, and now they are in OVERDRIVE. And if this keeps going I won't be able to handle all of this xd.

I've no idea what to do, will get bloodtests tomorrow but I'm not sure what to include. I got "some" bloodtests on the day before the crash.
Was thinking to do a 5-7 day water fast now, am almost 40h in right now. And then go with the typical TMO paelo diet, since I've no idea what else to do.

Why I'm so conflicted with the course of action is, that after the crash I had the extreme urges to
1) run
2) fast
3) cold shower
4) eat fruits, my "depression and suicidal thoughts" literally lifted in a minute after eating an orange for example
5) almost felt like puking for a week if I touched anything with fats, couldnt even eat one scrambled egg, felt like gasoline in my stomach

That's why I'm conflicted now, I'm interested in nutrition and autophagy for almost 10 years. And I see all the benefits of almost keto, insulincaring and IF diet. But on the same time we have the ray-peat stuff and I felt like I always felt better on the more high fructose diet. And just ONE guy (xd) on PPH had this skinissue too and he said he fixed it with actually stopping eating greens and nuts and went on dairy and normal pre-crash diet. I've ate daily cruciferous foods for 5-6months precrash and now I'm like.. ok maybe this isn't a diet my body actually wants.

So my plan for now is, do 5-7 water fast, then some days juicing. And then go on with the TMO-protocol and cylcing of some herbs. But same time maybe I should just eat whatever and get a kcal+ to nourish the body? I've kinda done that in the first 1-2 weeks with a healthy diet, but too much fruits for sure and a lot of stuff got better, but idk if this was due to diet or natural.
Doing cold showers too.
But for the last week I've been very hungry, so idk if I should do this..
Aswell as my urine after the crash is 95% clear no matter what I eat or do or drink. I had yesterday the first day where it was yellowish after waking up and at evening. But today it's gone again..

Ok idk what else to include, hope this isn't too much ;/ appreciate any help cuz I'm trying to be positive but still at a big loss. Afraid this is going to be my new homeostasis and would like to fight it as early as I can.
Thank you for reading!
 
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RebelWithACause

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Jan 20, 2018
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#4

Bankai900

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May 27, 2019
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#5
Yea I found a great one in Poland. Will do the next day if possible! They say it can take up to 15 days to get results so I'll try to handle it asap.
Anywhere a list what I should get for bloodtests aswell? I'd go tomorrow and do one. Thing is I'm in Poland and gotta pay for absolutely everything, but hey I want my sleep and dick and hopefully my life back so gotta do it eh :D!
Thing is I'm fasted since yesterday, shouldn't be any problem tho right?
 

RebelWithACause

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Jan 20, 2018
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#6
Yea I found a great one in Poland. Will do the next day if possible! They say it can take up to 15 days to get results so I'll try to handle it asap.
Anywhere a list what I should get for bloodtests aswell? I'd go tomorrow and do one. Thing is I'm in Poland and gotta pay for absolutely everything, but hey I want my sleep and dick and hopefully my life back so gotta do it eh :D!
Thing is I'm fasted since yesterday, shouldn't be any problem tho right?
Testosterone, DHT, estrogen, cortisol, progesterone, SHBG - as much as possible.

15 days is normal. I had to wait around 2-3 weeks as well.
 
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HerrFisch

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Oct 7, 2017
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#7
Yea I found a great one in Poland. Will do the next day if possible! They say it can take up to 15 days to get results so I'll try to handle it asap.
Anywhere a list what I should get for bloodtests aswell? I'd go tomorrow and do one. Thing is I'm in Poland and gotta pay for absolutely everything, but hey I want my sleep and dick and hopefully my life back so gotta do it eh :D!
Thing is I'm fasted since yesterday, shouldn't be any problem tho right?
But is it TEI or ARL? Just asking, not that you buy one for nothing.
 

Bankai900

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May 27, 2019
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#8
But is it TEI or ARL? Just asking, not that you buy one for nothing.
I don't really get it to be honest ;/ I tried to register on one of them (on the other it's only phone?) and couldn't, wouldn't get me past writing my email in.
I checked TEI and ARL, but they seem to only be active in Amercia from what I see. Am I wrong with that?
I am from Germany and PL, and have found various tests in Germany, but 1. they're super expensive and 2. there's barely any info in it from what I see.
The polish one, still expensive, but seems to give a lot of information. I've no idea what would be missing tho compared to the TEI or ARL ones.
It says something along the lines of you will receive: 29 elements contained in your hair, including 5 toxic elements, the most important proportions between elements and their interpretation, metabolic type characteristics, 2 supplementation programmes: compensatory for 1-3 months and nutrition over 6 months, 14 standard day metabolic diets with recipes and recommendations for physical activity".
 

RebelWithACause

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Jan 20, 2018
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#11
Another question now, I've crashed 3 weeks ago. So obviously my hair hasn't grown 2-4cm during that time and I still have probably stuff it in from precrash where I felt phenomenal compared to now. What's the take on that one?
Take it from different spots all over the scalp and as close as possible to the scalp. I would just get a very short haircut and ask the barber to keep the hair close to the scalp that he cuts.
 

Walker

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Oct 7, 2017
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#12
First suggestion I have is not to waste people's time, honestly.

You're looking for all the information you can find on CD's protocol and getting help from people on Swole Source, just to come over here and switch up the way you're going to attack this. There's nothing wrong with taking different angles in curing this, but at least be respectful of others' time and don't bounce around. You can't do both. Either ways are solid options.
 

Bankai900

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May 27, 2019
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#13
First suggestion I have is not to waste people's time, honestly.

You're looking for all the information you can find on CD's protocol and getting help from people on Swole Source, just to come over here and switch up the way you're going to attack this. There's nothing wrong with taking different angles in curing this, but at least be respectful of others' time and don't bounce around. You can't do both. Either ways are solid options.
Oh I'm very sorry if this came over like this. I'm planning to stick to CD's protocol, but I guess as most of us I'm in quite a state of panic and trying to find out whatever I can absolutely everywhere.
I'm incredibly grateful for every single person on SwoleSource, these guy's helped me tremendously to get over my initial crash and I've not enough words of thanks to them all.
Someone I talked to showed me this forum and I just wanted to "throw myself outthere". And I wouldn't come up with the hairanalysis idea which is amazing, I've read about it 2 weeks ago, but I just needed that one guy who told me, go do it man. And I'll do it the next days. Same goes with CD's protocol.

I'm panicking a little, since the only people with skinissues I found didn't end well. And I thought maybe there's one person at least who read those, and found maybe something that might work, or sth I could try. Collagen seemed to do both of them very bad, so I'm hesitant to go with that route. And ye, I'm just scared. This isn't an excuse I get it, but still ;/
 

Walker

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Oct 7, 2017
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#14
Oh I'm very sorry if this came over like this. I'm planning to stick to CD's protocol, but I guess as most of us I'm in quite a state of panic and trying to find out whatever I can absolutely everywhere.
I'm incredibly grateful for every single person on SwoleSource, these guy's helped me tremendously to get over my initial crash and I've not enough words of thanks to them all.
Someone I talked to showed me this forum and I just wanted to "throw myself outthere". And I wouldn't come up with the hairanalysis idea which is amazing, I've read about it 2 weeks ago, but I just needed that one guy who told me, go do it man. And I'll do it the next days. Same goes with CD's protocol.

I'm panicking a little, since the only people with skinissues I found didn't end well. And I thought maybe there's one person at least who read those, and found maybe something that might work, or sth I could try. Collagen seemed to do both of them very bad, so I'm hesitant to go with that route. And ye, I'm just scared. This isn't an excuse I get it, but still ;/
You may not have intended it - it's just a very sensitive topic to me. I used to help people back in the past and find out they were on RPF doing some crazy shit on top of CD's protocol, then come back and post something saying their life is slowly ruining and it's the fault of what I suggested. Not a fucking chance. But for your case, I'd choose one or the other - I don't believe there's any benefit over the other personally.

Either way you go, your outlook on the issue is wrong - you're not going to treat individual symptoms. This is a systemic issue that is directly causing the skin issue you have. Treat the root cause of that, the imbalance, and your body will fix the rest. I had horrible symptoms - I mean honestly man my dick was rotated on it's axis......it fixed. If that can fix, I'm sure your collagen can return to your skin and make your skin look good again. I told you on Swole Source already - I aged ten years over night. People at work thought I was on hard drugs after I crashed. Now, I easily am mistaken for being five years younger than my age or any of my friends that are the same age, but eat like shit and drink daily. Health is a wonderful thing my friend.
 

Bankai900

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May 27, 2019
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#15
You may not have intended it - it's just a very sensitive topic to me. I used to help people back in the past and find out they were on RPF doing some crazy shit on top of CD's protocol, then come back and post something saying their life is slowly ruining and it's the fault of what I suggested. Not a fucking chance. But for your case, I'd choose one or the other - I don't believe there's any benefit over the other personally.

Either way you go, your outlook on the issue is wrong - you're not going to treat individual symptoms. This is a systemic issue that is directly causing the skin issue you have. Treat the root cause of that, the imbalance, and your body will fix the rest. I had horrible symptoms - I mean honestly man my dick was rotated on it's axis......it fixed. If that can fix, I'm sure your collagen can return to your skin and make your skin look good again. I told you on Swole Source already - I aged ten years over night. People at work thought I was on hard drugs after I crashed. Now, I easily am mistaken for being five years younger than my age or any of my friends that are the same age, but eat like shit and drink daily. Health is a wonderful thing my friend.
Thank you a lot man. And I totally see the point you mean, nothing worse than giving advice and someone is running of to do some other weird shiet. I actually have that rotation on axis + a slight bent aswell which makes both the ultra combo to make it look worse xD. But I had some grasps of it last week that this actually CAN get better. And yea I'm really hoping I can fuk this shiet up. I'm overall very calm over the rest of the sides, which are as scary, but I think I will just avoid looking in the mirror for a while, shit is my whole face is like burning. When I smile I can feel it like almost "cracking", and I see it everytime I look at my hands aswell, hard to ignore it fully ;/.
I'm on the water-fast right now, hoping it will get better. My face still looks hydrated and not too dry, like it's a different aspect happening ;<
But I agree, trying to keep the whole picture in mind and fight it from all sides is the key for overall health.

I had that precrash.. this young-looking boy 10years younger.. while doing drugs and eat shiet. The moment I decided to get healthy I took this shiet 6 months later and bam, fukd. Incredible xd 3weeks and 10 years added.. worse by the day
 

MNK99

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Nov 6, 2017
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#17
Bro i looked a fair amount younger for years and years. At least when relatively lean and not drinking heavily (so every year of 20s etc where I wasn't on Effexor or drinking like 60 shots a week). So I was good for a while and used to being optimal/ semi optimal (still kind of fucked up mentally ... but whatever).

and like fucking completely different (made me super depressed also the chemical depression too, also Fin literally killed the mood stabilizing affects in the liver by UGTA14 of some other med at the same time, as well as rendered a surgery useless at the time) after fin. This other med was 89 days or so and Fin was 124 days max. Semi labotomized within days to weeks tho, I guess I just didn't articulate / realize, put that to paper in a coherent matter.

After fasting 30+ days, and later working out like a machine, looked five yrs younger again. Not quite 6-7 yrs younger but eventually, heres hoping. Ive been using tei but took a break. Over 80% recovered, I feel for about a year +. But really, wasnt as good, but have been great for a while. Doing some good work, studying for something, back to life, but was "becoming functional and capable of envisioning a life again" around last March (around my bday). I started fasting for real, with water in January. I tried juice (works for some/ many, it just wasn't for me) before for a couple months. I needed some more drastic, faster help. I was suicidal 6mo++ of the year before that. After some serious life changes, and concluding various trials and tribulations, all of a sudden, I was screwed irrevocably (I believed). Thank God, and people here and on Swole too in part that this was not true.

Many if not near all skin affects are gone, maybe had 6-7 i dont know i dont count like that per se. Like 5.5/7 probably more like 6/7 of those are gone. Discolored spots, other things. Face looked sunken in now it doesn't and hasnt for a while but not its "ideal/what it was" to me. to most others ya, even ppl who commented before.

anyways the point is things will get better, if you ensure that's your primary focus and that's all you'll do for now.
Keep working hard. stick to one thing and use it. CD's/Swole or something here on Hackstasis (TEI).

And if things are really dire, I think...be prepared to fast a lot more than 5-7days. Although, really, I think people just train that skill and get better at it over time and they delay ending their fasting trial.

But yes, one thing that Walker mentioned is for sure look at the whole picture. Any weight gain, hair loss, etc, would drive me crazy pre PFS. BUT* I had to accept water, fat gain, this and that... bad digestion, whatever else. And it was fine because 10-30 things improved depending on the month... so, it was clearly and obviously strongly preferred to not accepting that I needed to work on the whole spectrum of issues, rather than try and treat one symptom.

That's how people get screwed in pharma/medicine, by doing just the opposite, not taking into account that everything's interconnected in some way.
 
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Ocguy

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May 7, 2018
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#18
Another question now, I've crashed 3 weeks ago. So obviously my hair hasn't grown 2-4cm during that time and I still have probably stuff it in from precrash where I felt phenomel compared to now. What's the take on that one?
Will be interesting to see.. some think being out of balance is a contributing factor in the crash.. others think the crash causes your minerals to get out of balance..

so please share results with the group.. u may want to do two tests and compare since the precrash hair is still on your head.. if it's long enough.. the hair closest to your scalp is the most recent.. see if your practitioner will give u a deal, since this is for experimental purposes and could benefit the mineral balancing and pfs communities
 

Bankai900

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May 27, 2019
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#20
@MNK99 YES. Thank you for sharing your story man, it's amazing you've come out this well of it! I stopped looking at the small stuff now, my mindset completely shifted yesterday and I'm happy to tackle this shiet! I will beat this and with the new knowledge I will get younger every year! :D
Fasting seems to do me good in some areas. I seem to get deep for 1-2hours now from 4-6am. Before that my heartbeat is absolutely nuts and it's hard to stay in sleep for longer than 1h. It seems that most beneficial deep sleep happens from 23-1am, so I will focus to be in bed now at 21(omg..XD) to get some of that!

@Ocguy
I agree this will be very interesting! Will do! From what I gathered is that high cortisol can lead to a crazy amount of vitamin/mineral inbalances even if shortterm, so longterm allevated levels seem to play a big factor in this. Aswell as very damaging to the skin in the end. So now I got no choice but to relax xD!

@Aflac94
This is very interesting! I had extreme waterretention and crazy breasttenderness(almost painful) for the first 2 weeks and developed quite some bitchtitties, I already have big ones from gym, and I got SUPERSOFT and first week ate probably 1k kcal fruits(and greens) only and some meat, couldn't eat fats at all. Still looked like I'd put on 1kg a day on my belly. And I hit the gym like 4 times after crash and after the 4th one something like "changed". After the 3rd gymsession I noticed my breast tenderness started to decline, and I got SOME feeling back in my muscles. After the 4th I got still no lactic acid buildup and did deadlifts and then squats (noway I could do this precrash XD) and next day I woke up with some soreness which got worse the next days, which was great cuz I couldn't get sore before that! And after that it seemed that my estrogen started to decline and I stopped being so SOFT like a sponge all over. So I drank 1-2 beers for 2-3 days to maybe counter a too big drop in estrogen then. Aswell as looking at porn 1-2x a day to maybe get DHT up, since it seems my libido dies completely if I don't do it. Same thing is that it dies if I ejaculate, so I just watch a bit and then stop. I noticed that overmasturbating was taxing on my body even precrash (which might be one of the reasons for it I see now).
Now my muscles feel pretty okey, and I lost almost all of that "fat" which idk if gained but I got the leaner look back now.
And Edit: I don't know if you will still read it, but I see someone recommended folic acid intake for you, and one of the things I've done right after crash was taking in every day throughout the day asparagus for over 2weeks. Natural and raw. 70%green and 30% whites and prob way too much greens. Maybe that was something that helped me aswell.


And overall I feel very happy to tackle this shiet now, I'm confident I can do it and most symptoms seem to be tackleable!
My heartbeat is crazy strong, so I measured it last days (but still not at night when it's strongest and will do today). My heart is even like in pain due to the strong beats, feels inflamed ;/. So I got very low bloodpressure, which seems to make the heart work way harder (Hypotension). Which might explain my huge urge to run (never was a jogger xd) the whole time after crash.
I couldn't lightly jogg for more than 30s after the first 12 days or so, and I was still doing it twice a day(morning/evening) for like 15minutes. 1min walking 30sec light jogg. I couldn't jogg for more than 30seconds. And one evening I suddenly noticed at 2 minutes that I'm still running, so I "broke" that dying after 30s feeling.
From what I see exercise is great for hypotension (never had strong heartbeat before, ever. Unless I played high ranked in League or so XD, never IRL, no matter how stressful)
Aswell it might be a low thyroid issue. Both seem to be manageable with diet and exercise so I'm thrilled. Hypotension and low thyroid seem to very similar to a lot of mental issues from PFS. Aswell as (extreme cases) of insulin resistence and/or adrenal fatigue. So focusing on all 4 of those sounds like a solid plan.
My only fear is that my microbiome might screw it all up, since I feel "inflamed" in my stomach. I had no issues with eating whatever even after crash, but still sth doesn't feel right^^
And to the hairtest, my hairs are probably just 1,5cm rn.. but I will still try to just send that off and hope they can give me something.. really don't want to wait now for weeks.

and edit2: No way I can get hairs for my hairtest without going to a hairdresser, just tried to cut one part I'll look like a freakin dalmatian with these spots ahaha
 
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